英語演講稿開場白幽默

　　英語演講稿開場白幽默

　　英語演講稿開場白幽默1.

　　As a speaker, I’ve only had two complaints from audiences. One, that I talk so loud they can’t fall asleep. And two, that I talk so long they can’t stay awake.

　　創新句子：你們或者睡覺，或者不睡，只要不打呼嚕，我就接著講。

　　英語演講稿開場白幽默2.

　　As a speaker, he has often been compared to Abraham Lincoln delivering the Gettysburg Address. When he finishes his speech, there is also sorrow, tears and mourning ---- especially by the program committee.

　　幽默注釋：演講者講得太糟糕了，組織者哭得很傷心。

　　英語演講稿開場白幽默3.

　　Poise is when you finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be a part of their program --- and you nod and smile graciously knowing full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast.

　　幽默注釋：一些老干部退休后沒什么事干，有人請他參加一些活動，他還假裝很忙，好象推開了很多事才趕去似的。

　　英語演講稿開場白幽默4.

　　I used to get nervous when giving a speech but then I read that it helps to think of the entire audience as being naked. And so, at this very moment, I’m standing up here imagining every one in this audience as being naked. And it really works. I no suffer from nervousness. Eye strain. Yes.

　　幽默注釋：把觀眾想象成裸體，意思是我不怕你們，就不緊張了。

　　創新句子：大部分人站在講臺上都會有點兒緊張，我屬于少部分人，我非常緊張。

　　英語演講稿開場白幽默5.

　　Personally, I have never been conceited --- and I can’t tell you how much I admire myself for that.

　　幽默句子：他因為自己不自負，所以變得非常驕傲。

　　創新句子：我一點兒都不自負，我希望別人也這么看我。

　　英語演講稿開場白幽默6.

　　Let me put this into plain English. I’ll translate it for the lawyers later.

　　幽默注釋：律師總喜歡用復雜的語言，簡單的話都聽不懂了。

　　創新句子：我的講話有三個版本，小學生版本，中學生版本，大學生版本，你是聽小學一年紀版的，還是小學二年紀版的?

　　英語演講稿開場白幽默7.

　　If you’ve already heard this story, please don’t stop me because it’s the only one I know.

　　幽默注釋：就是你知道兩個故事，講故事前也可以這么說。

　　創新句子：我講個笑話，如果你們聽過，也希望裝做沒聽過，我也這樣照顧你們。

　　英語演講稿開場白幽默8.

　　Making a speech is like watering a lawn. You’re satisfied if just a quarter of it sinks in.

　　幽默注釋：有人打呼嚕，有人說話，都是正常的，有四分之一觀眾聽就不錯了。

　　英語演講稿開場白幽默9.

　　At the very start, let me just say that we both have something in common. You don’t know what I’m going to say --- and neither do I.

　　幽默句子：即興演講的開場白。

　　創新句子：我不知道你們會不會喜歡我的演講，我不知道我要講點兒什么。

　　英語演講稿開場白幽默10.

　　Before I begin, I want you to know that the following speech has been edited for television. I cut 20 minutes out of it so we could all get home in time for the game on channel 2.

　　幽默注釋：放著現場不看，偏要回家在電視上看。

　　英語演講稿開場白幽默11.

　　As some of you may know, I’m appearing here tonight for two very good reasons. The first reason is your Program Committee was trying to find a speaker who’s intelligent, entertaining, sophisticated --- and they did. The second reason is, he got sick so they called me.

　　幽默注釋：一開始好象在說自己很牛，其實就是個臨時替場。

　　創新句子：我認為我演講很風趣，可為什么沒人笑呢?

　　英語演講稿開場白幽默12.

　　Some people suffer from stage fright. I don’t. The stage doesn’t bother me at all. It’s the audience that scares the hell out of me!

　　幽默注釋：stage fright舞臺恐懼癥，而不是舞臺嚇唬我。

　　英語演講稿開場白幽默13.

　　At one time or another, I think each of us has wished we could turn back the clock. I know if I could turn back the clock just 45 minutes, I’d be the happiest person in this room. Because that’s when I left my speech on the kitchen table.

　　幽默注釋：自己上臺前還在刻苦練習，演講稿落家里了，講錯了希望觀眾包涵。

　　英語演講稿開場白幽默14.

　　I don’t want to brag, but the last time I did this it brought the audience to its feet. And they never sat down again until they reached their cars.

　　幽默注釋：觀眾聽他演講，都站起來走了，他還在吹牛呢。

　　創新句子：我演講時用一種平緩的語速娓娓道來，觀眾睡得很香甜。

　　英語演講稿開場白幽默15.

　　If I’m a little hesitant, you’ll have to excuse me. This is the first after-dinner speech I’ve ever made ---except for yelling at my kids in McDonald’s.

　　幽默注釋：自嘲自己演講沒什么經驗。

　　創新句子：你可能知道我已經養成了飯后演講的習慣。

　　英語演講稿開場白幽默16.

　　I’m not used to speaking to such a large audience. The one thing that gives me courage is that I’m speaking on my favorite subject --- me.

　　幽默注釋：電視上老是邀請一些名人在那兒大談自己，這些人開場可以這么說。

　　英語演講稿開場白幽默17.

　　People always ask me why I wear a big red ten gallon hat (or some other very noticeable article of clothing) and I tell them. It has to do with taking a positive but practical view of life. For instance, I know that no matter what happens, the good Lord is watching over us. Then again, there are now six billion of us, so I want to make darn sure He can pick me out of the crowd.

　　幽默注釋：多么新穎的創意，戴頂綠帽子就想引起上帝注意。

　　創新句子：別再說謊了，趁上帝還沒注意你。

　　英語演講稿開場白幽默18.

　　With your permission, I’m going to read this paper. I’m going to read it for three reasons: one, I have a very poor memory –and the other two I can’t remember.

　　幽默注釋：為自己忘詞找好借口。

　　創新句子：我記憶力不好，我忘了把講稿帶來。

【英語演講稿開場白幽默】相關文章：

幽默開場白10-05

幽默的開場白10-04

風趣幽默的開場白11-15

幽默開場白范文10-05

幽默搞笑的開場白10-05

很炫很幽默的開場白10-04

早會幽默開場白10-06

演講幽默開場白10-09

酒桌幽默開場白11-12

培訓講師幽默開場白10-07