兩人簡(jiǎn)短英文搞笑對(duì)話

　　幽默常會(huì)給人帶來(lái)歡樂(lè)，其特點(diǎn)主要表現(xiàn)為機(jī)智、自嘲，調(diào)侃、風(fēng)趣等。確實(shí)，幽默有助于消除敵意，緩解摩擦，防止矛盾升級(jí)，還有人認(rèn)為幽默還能激勵(lì)士氣，提高生產(chǎn)效率。下面是小編收集整理的兩人簡(jiǎn)短英文搞笑對(duì)話，歡迎閱讀！

　　兩人簡(jiǎn)短英文搞笑對(duì)話1

　　Leonard is preparing for his date, a little nervous.

　　倫納德在為他的約會(huì)作準(zhǔn)備，有些緊張。

　　Leonard: How do I look?

　　倫納德:我看起來(lái)怎么樣?

　　Sheldon: Could you be more specific?

　　謝爾登:你能更具體些嗎?

　　Leonard: Can you tell I'm perspiring a little?

　　倫納德:你能看出我在冒汗嗎?

　　Sheldon: No. The dark crescent-shaped patterns under your arms conceal it nicely.What time is your date?

　　倫納德:不能。你腋下深色的.新月?tīng)顖D案將其隱藏得很好。你幾點(diǎn)約會(huì)?

　　Leonard: 6:30.

　　倫納德:6點(diǎn)半。

　　Sheldon: Perfect. That gives you two hours and 15 minutes for that dense molecular cloud of aromas to dissipate.

　　謝爾登:太好了。那你還有2小時(shí)15分鐘，讓那片稠密的人造纖維分子云消散。

　　Leonard: Is it too much?

　　倫納德:汗很多嗎?

　　Sheldon: Not if you're a rugby team.

　　謝爾登:如果你是橄欖球隊(duì)員就不算多。

　　兩人簡(jiǎn)短英文搞笑對(duì)話2

　　Son： Mum ,if someone broke your best. vase what would you do?

　　兒子：媽媽，如果有人打碎了你最好的花瓶，你會(huì)怎么辦?

　　Mum： I'd spank him and send him to bed without any supper!

　　媽媽：我要揍他，還不讓他吃晚飯就去睡覺(jué)!

　　Son： Well,you' d better get the slipper. Dad's just broken it !

　　兒子：好了，你準(zhǔn)備好拖鞋吧，爸爸剛把那只花瓶摔碎了。

　　兩人簡(jiǎn)短英文搞笑對(duì)話3

　　A Hi Bob, are you all right? You look quite disturbed to me.

　　B Well, I'm all right I guess.it's just that..

　　A Don't worry, you can tell me what's going on, maybe I can help you out.

　　B Well, I just broke up with my girlfriend.

　　A Really? I'm sorry to hear that. So how come you broke up with her?

　　B You see, she wanted to stay with me all the time, but I have my own work.

　　A An, that's so sad to hear. May be she just hope you to company her.

　　B But I'm really very busy.

　　A Ok.Maybe it is beneficial for you.

　　B What is you meaning?

　　A Do not worry! In fact, that girl don not understand you is not Suitable for you.After all, they are girls. They can not understand the world of boys.Comparing with them, boys can understand your world better. And they will not badger with you. So you will have your own time to Pay attention to those you love. So why not get aboyfriend.

　　B E….. That sounds great. Maybe you are right. Since that, why not we be together.

　　A yeh…. that is also my idea.

　　兩人簡(jiǎn)短英文搞笑對(duì)話4

　　男:Hello, I’m Ben. May I ask you some questions?

　　女:Sure.

　　男:What is your father’s name?

　　女:Happy!

　　男:Then, What is your mother’s name?

　　女:Smile!

　　男:Are you joking?

　　女:No! That’s my sister! I am Kidding. By the way, are you a census staff?

　　男:Of course not.

　　女:Go ahead.

　　男:OK. Your name is Kidding. Kidding, I'm going to start a

　　band. Will you join us?

　　女:Sure, Ben. I'd love to be in a band

　　男:OK, good. Which instrument do you play? I heard that you

　　can play piano very well.

　　女:Piano? I don't play an instrument actually.

　　男:What are you good at?

　　女:I sing. I like music with great lyrics.

　　男: So do I. Who else do you think can join us?

　　女:Well, Dave is supposed to be a good one.

　　男:Really? What does he like?

　　女:He prefers quiet music.

　　男:Good. How about Harry? He plays the guitar, doesn’t he?

　　女:Yes, but Harry loves loud music such as disco .

　　男:That's OK. I often go to disco with my friends.

　　女:You mean we can play both loud music and quiet music?

　　男:Why not?

　　女:What kind of music style do you prefer, Ben?

　　男:Oh, I like music that I can dance to.

　　But we have one problem with our band

　　女:what is it?

　　男:I'm not a musician and I can't sing.

　　女:Are you joking?

　　男:No, that’s your sister’s name. Just now I was kidding.

　　女:Well, that makes sense!

　　兩人簡(jiǎn)短英文搞笑對(duì)話5

　　Guest 顧客(女) Waiteress 女服務(wù)員

　　Guest:Hi, waiteress. Could you help me? 嗨,服務(wù)員(女),能幫我一下嗎?

　　Waiteress:Yes,ma'am,what can i help you?您好,太太,有什么需要幫忙的?

　　Guest:Um,i want to buy some pickle cucumber ,which shelf does it place?嗯,我想買點(diǎn)醬黃瓜,但是我不知道它在那一排貨架?

　　Waiteress:Don't worry,ma'am.Go along this aisle ,you'll see a big bulletin ,writing Sauce Food,you'll find your goods there.夫人,別急.順著這通道走,你將會(huì)看到一個(gè)大的指示牌,上面寫(xiě)著醬料視頻,您可以在那找到你想要的`(醬黃瓜).

　　Guest:Oh,thank you !By the way ,can you tell me how much each kilo of the pickle cucumber?

　　非常感謝!對(duì)了,能順便告訴我每一千克醬黃瓜多少錢嗎?

　　Waiteress:Last updated ,i remember its cost ￥30 each kilo,that's all i knew!嗯,最后一次標(biāo)價(jià),我記得要每公斤要30塊吧,我只知道這些了!

　　Guest:Okay ,thanks again!好的,再次感謝!

　　Waiteress:You'are welcome!不客氣!

　　兩人簡(jiǎn)短英文搞笑對(duì)話6

　　Joan: Hello,Ashley! Where did you go for your trip?

　　你好，艾詩(shī)莉!你去哪里旅游了?

　　Joe: Beijing,for I only had a week.

　　北京，因?yàn)槲抑挥幸恢艿臅r(shí)間。

　　Joan: Oh! That is a good place! How was your trip like?

　　噢!那是個(gè)好地方啊!旅行感覺(jué)如何?

　　Joe: I had much fun on our trip.

　　我覺(jué)得旅行還是很有意思的!

　　Joan: Could you tell me what your trip was like?

　　講述一下您的旅游好嗎?

　　Joe: Oh,not bad,but very tiring!

　　哦!挺不錯(cuò)的，就是感到累。

　　Joan: Where do you think is better for shopping in Beijing?

　　北京哪里適合購(gòu)物?

　　Joe: Wangfujing Street. I think. It has got more exclusive shops.

　　王府井街。那里有更多的專賣店。

　　Joan: What's the weather like in Beijing?

　　北京的天氣如何?

　　Joe: It's kind of cold.

　　有點(diǎn)涼。

　　Joan: How were the restaurants there?

　　那里的餐館怎么樣?

　　Joe: It seemed they're wonderful,and not expensive.

　　似乎不錯(cuò)，還不貴。

　　Joan: Is there any mentions of tours?

　　旅行中應(yīng)該注意什么?

　　Joe: Yes.A traveler should train himself to observe the odd customs there.

　　旅行者應(yīng)該學(xué)會(huì)觀察當(dāng)?shù)氐腵奇特習(xí)俗。

　　Joan: Did you have any complaint about the trip?

　　你對(duì)旅行有不滿意的地方嗎?

　　Joe: Yes.Traveling is too expensive.

　　有的。旅行費(fèi)用太昂貴。

　　Joan: Where do you want to go next year?

　　明年你想去哪?

　　Joe: I never want to travel any more .

　　我再也不想旅行了!

　　sweety: I never want to travel any more .

　　我再也不想旅行了!

　　兩人簡(jiǎn)短英文搞笑對(duì)話7

　　A: Excuse me, are you Miss Green?

　　B: Yes.

　　A: I’m a new student in the school. My name’s John.

　　B: Nice to meet you, John.

　　A: It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Green.

　　兩人簡(jiǎn)短英文搞笑對(duì)話8

　　A: Simon, let me introduce you to Linda.

　　A: Linda, this is Simon.

　　B: How do you do? I’m pleased to meet you.

　　C: How do you do? I’m glad to meet you, too.

　　兩人簡(jiǎn)短英文搞笑對(duì)話9

　　A: How do you do? My name’s Jin Tao. Glad to meet you. B: How do you do? I’m Yang Li. Glad to meet you, too.

　　A: Let’s have a seat. Help yourself just like you are at home. B: What would you like to drink?

　　A: A cup of coffee, please.

　　兩人簡(jiǎn)短英文搞笑對(duì)話10

　　Guide：Now we are at the Washington Monument.

　　Wang：Oh，What a magnificent sight it is!Can you give us some information about it，Mr White?

　　Guide：With pleas ure. The Washington Monument was started in 1848. After many difficulties and delays，the building was completed in 1885，and opened to the public in 1888.

　　Wang：So it took many years to build the monument. How high is it?

　　Guide：The height of the monument is 555 feet. The top can be reached by elevator or by an iron stairway. Shallwe go up now?

　　Wang：(They reach the top. )I felt the elevator flying in the air.

　　Guide：So it was. The elevator makes the ascent only in 70seconds. Now you can have a bird-eye view of the capital from here.

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